acceptance a wonderful way to live our lives?

Step 1Many of these 12-STEP groups say that we really can't change anyone except ourselves ... that we are powerless to change other people, or places, or things. Wow! That's disappointing, isn't it? So what should we do?

Step 2If you come to one of these programs because you blame other people for YOUR problems, then learning acceptance is especially important. It's important to ACCEPT responsibility for our own actions, to ACCEPT that we can't make other people do what we want, to ACCEPT that we can't control the world around us, to ACCEPT that we can only control our own beliefs, ideas and behavior.

Step 3The first step of many of these programs is some variation of "admitted we were powerless over alcohol". If someone else's drinking bothers you, a better way to put it might be that you admit you are powerless over alcoholics ... or drug addicts ... or overeaters ... or gamblers, etc. We just can't make them behave!

Step 4So, if we're powerless over others, what can we do? We can learn to take care of ourselves. We can learn that it is OK to have a good, happy life, no matter what others choose to do. We can learn to stop nagging and complaining about someone else's behavior. In short, we can learn that it is possible to choose to be happy, regardless of the chaos that others try to inflict on us!

Step 5Doesn't this kind of acceptance make you feel free? Doesn't acceptance take away any sense of guilt that we might feel because we choose to be happy, when others are obviously suffering from their diseases? Isn't acceptance a wonderful way to live our lives? And, best of all, this is exactly what these 12-Step programs teach us to do!