The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when
we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For
it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we
are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different
ways or truer answers.

There is no perfect way to "carry the message."

, the first 12-step program was Alcoholics Anonymous. After the co-founder (Bill Wilson) penned the 12-steps they became universally accepted as an effective way to treat alcoholism. Eventually, people discovered that the 12-steps and 12-step programs were an effective way to treat other addictions as well.

While 12-step meetings provide a supportive environment, the heart of the program is the 12-steps. Anyone attending a 12-step program should consider working the steps.

The 12-steps promote change by giving us tasks that can be accomplished, and by reminding us that we must do something in order to change.


Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over [something] that our lives had become unmanageable [without God].

This step introduces us to self-honesty and humility. We admit that we have a problem. We admit that we need help. This is the step of awareness. It is a preparation for inviting spiritual healing into our lives.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

This step brings us hope. Admitting our powerlessness has deflated our ego. This can be very frightening. What shall we to do if we are powerless over a life-threatening disorder? The answer to this dilemma is step two. Yes we are insane, but there is a power greater than ourselves that can take care of the problem ─ wonderful. When we take this step we acknowledge that spirituality can heal us. We do not have to be convinced at this point, just open-minded.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.

Healing comes from a relationship with a Higher Power. To begin this relationship we must surrender. The ego hates this. This surrender begins with a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God. This is crucial. It is like putting ourselves in the hands of a doctor once we have discovered that we have a life-threatening disease.

Note: This step can be taken even if we still have some doubts. No one is entirely convinced that this will work the first time they take this step. Later, as we get better, we will see the results of this step and it will be easier to keep making this decision to "turn it over."

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This step is like a diagnosis of our problem. When doctors are looking for a cure they begin by isolating the virus that is causing the disease. We must do the same. We must take a good hard look at ourselves. We must isolate distorted values, thoughts, and behavior. We must find and write about all the negative personality traits that cause our problems. We must consciously define what has to be changed if we wish to heal. We must know what parts of ourselves we wish to keep and which parts we want to get rid of. Some people call the fourth step a blueprint for change.

The first time we take an inventory it is difficult to identify everything we need to know about ourselves. Don't worry about this. As we grow, more is revealed. Then we can do another fourth-step inventory.

Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

In this step we share or confess the negative information we have gathered in our fourth step. We share this information with "ourselves," (this represents self-honesty); "God," (this represents our unconscious); and "another human being," (this represents the world). This step is designed to help us share our secrets. Secrets are a by-product of shame. They must come out of hiding if we are to heal. In 12-step meetings you will hear it said that we are as "sick as our secrets."

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

This step promotes readiness. We are reminded by this step that while we are consciously ready to have God remove all our shortcomings, we unconsciously cling to them out of fear and habit. When this happens we must pray for willingness. Prayer alters our unconscious reservations.

This step also reminds us that God, not us, is the one who removes defects of character from our unconscious. We learned this in the second step. We let go, but God is the power behind the changes that occur in us.

If you stumble on this step don't worry. Readiness will occur when the pain is bad enough or when your faith is strong enough. Despite the phrase "entirely ready" you can take this step with some reservations; or you can concentrate on some character defects while still clinging to others.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

This gesture acknowledges the superiority of our Higher Power. It reminds us that he or she can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. This step, in the form of a prayer, also helps transform our conscious willingness into an unconscious willingness. When the conscious desire becomes rooted in our unconscious we begin to change.

Just a warning: when we pray for God to remove our shortcomings they will not magically disappear. God will just supply us with opportunities to make changes and hopefully we will respond with the correct behavior. God will give us a momentary reprieve from being a victim of our impulses. God will give us a sense of choice and the rest is up to us. This is how God removes shortcomings. We have to do most of the work.

Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

This step is designed to help us let go of residual guilt. It promotes honesty and change. It is an expression of our desire to put the past behind us and start over again by acknowledging the mistakes we have made. It is also a simple way to get organized for the ninth step.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

This step is how we implement our desire to put the past behind us and let go of residual guilt. It is our opportunity to take action. It takes courage to take this step. This step is not designed to improve our relationship with all the people we have hurt (although it may do this). Nor will it always result in being forgiven by the people we have hurt. This step is designed to help diminish the guilt we feel. It will also help us get our self-respect back. Self-respect comes from doing the right thing even if we don't feel like it.

When taking this step we must not be concerned about what the person we hurt did to us either before or after we hurt them. This step is about taking responsibility for our own actions, even if what we did was a reaction to the negative deeds of someone else.

This step is also more than an apology. If we stole money, then we must return it when we can. Do not get stuck on this step. Do what you can and move on. You can come back later and work on this step some more.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

This is the first of the maintenance steps. Like steps eleven and twelve, this step is designed to help us keep what we have gained from the first nine steps (self-respect, peace of mind, freedom from addiction, etc.) In this step we periodically access how we are doing and make note of our wrongdoings. Then we admit our mistakes and make amends. This step is crucial if we are to avoid regression.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

This step helps us keep and enhance our spiritual condition. It does this by reminding us to practice spiritual disciplines. This is what keeps us in remission. Spirituality is a state of mind, but like muscles that atrophy without exercise, spirituality will grow weak without prayer

Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

To keep what we have gotten, we have to give it away. This is a spiritual law. Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, discovered this when he tried to keep Dr. Bob sober as a way of saving his own sobriety.

How does carrying the message help us? For one thing, the comfort and advice we give others comes back to us just when we need it the most. (What goes around comes around.) Also, we gain many new insights from our attempt to help others. We learn from what we teach. "To know peace we must teach peace." Course of Miracles.

Helping others also makes us feel good about ourselves. This is good for our recovery. One warning with regard to this statement: Our helpfulness should be the fruit of spirituality. By this I mean that it should come from a full heart. It is not a way to bolster our self-esteem or look good, and it should not be done at the expense of our own well-being. There is a middle ground between selfishness and codependency.

There is no perfect way to "carry the message." Just do what comes naturally. Find a way that is exciting to you ─ sponsorship, setting up meetings, service committees, etc.

Let's not forget the second half of the twelfth step: "practice these principles in all our affairs." This statement reminds us to take what we have learned and apply it to all areas of our lives. This means taking our recovery home with us or to our job.

acceptance a wonderful way to live our lives?

Step 1Many of these 12-STEP groups say that we really can't change anyone except ourselves ... that we are powerless to change other people, or places, or things. Wow! That's disappointing, isn't it? So what should we do?

Step 2If you come to one of these programs because you blame other people for YOUR problems, then learning acceptance is especially important. It's important to ACCEPT responsibility for our own actions, to ACCEPT that we can't make other people do what we want, to ACCEPT that we can't control the world around us, to ACCEPT that we can only control our own beliefs, ideas and behavior.

Step 3The first step of many of these programs is some variation of "admitted we were powerless over alcohol". If someone else's drinking bothers you, a better way to put it might be that you admit you are powerless over alcoholics ... or drug addicts ... or overeaters ... or gamblers, etc. We just can't make them behave!

Step 4So, if we're powerless over others, what can we do? We can learn to take care of ourselves. We can learn that it is OK to have a good, happy life, no matter what others choose to do. We can learn to stop nagging and complaining about someone else's behavior. In short, we can learn that it is possible to choose to be happy, regardless of the chaos that others try to inflict on us!

Step 5Doesn't this kind of acceptance make you feel free? Doesn't acceptance take away any sense of guilt that we might feel because we choose to be happy, when others are obviously suffering from their diseases? Isn't acceptance a wonderful way to live our lives? And, best of all, this is exactly what these 12-Step programs teach us to do!

In Dubai, female sits at the front portion of the bus and males have to sit at the back portion of the bus.

In Dubai, female sits at the front portion of the bus and males have to sit at the back portion of the bus. If you are a couple, u have to be seperated throughout the bus journey. Unless you are married (and carries your marriage certificate with u), husband can stand beside wife while she sits. Male and female sitting together is a big NO NO... When the bus has no females at all, male can occupy the front portion of the bus. But, once theres a female on board, the males have to move your ass..

-In USA, after you have finished the mouth-watering fattening-ass meal, you ask for the bill. At the bottom of the bill, there will be a tipping guide where they will 'politely' ask for tips which 5% of your total bill is the most basic you 'should' give. Most common, 5%, 8% and 10%. I dont know what is the consequences of not tipping but its definitely a 'must do' culture in USA.

-In EGYPT.. unlike USA, they do not have tipping guide.. But they are more daring! Whatever service you hire that involves a local, at the end of the day, the local will not leave u alone unless you tip that person. If the local thinks that tip you gave is too low, that local will have no problem telling you that, he/she wants more.. So, if you want to sight see in Egypt, prepare to spend a fortune just to tip the locals.

Brooklyn sex mansion that just so happens to be the setting of the majority of the book's orgy scenes is aptly called the "Janus Club".

Gloria Vanderbilt may be 85-years-old, but she will have you know that she is having none of your boring, vanilla bedroom fantasies. Famous for that whole 80s denim thing, and for being Anderson Cooper's begetter, Vanderbilt's erotic novel Obsession (about BDSM no less!) is due out on June 23, and, according to the New York Times, it comes with a healthy dose of flora, though not, apparently, of fauna:

Mint, cayenne pepper and a fresh garden carrot are deployed in the book in ways never envisioned by “The Joy of Cooking.” And there is also a unicorn, though, blessedly, it remains a bystander.
Charles McGrath cautiously sidesteps Ms. Vanderbilt's own involvement in BDSM (and stiffly acknowledges that her novel "uses vocabulary and describes activities of a sort that readers of The New York Times are usually shielded from"), but I doubt the author is any stranger to her subject.
For one, the Brooklyn sex mansion that just so happens to be the setting of the majority of the book's orgy scenes is aptly called the "Janus Club". What the New York Times doesn't mention is that Janus, the Roman god of doorways who had two faces peering in opposite directions, has always been an important symbol to those involved in BDSM. San Francisco's own not-for-profit organization promoting safe consensual BDSM is called the Society of Janus, and chose the name because "Janus has two faces, which we interpreted as the duality of SM (one's dominant and submissive sides)." Janus Magazine, an old British magazine devoted to softcore spanking, also takes on the name. There is, in Vanderbilt's novel, a special usage for a "smooth-backed Mason Pearson hairbrush purchased at Harrods," that has little to do with brushing actual hair.
Ms. Vanderbilt also acknowledges that her work is inherently autobiographical, and states, "I think that all the very graphic sex is true of self-exploration and true of fantasy. I think it’s poetic.” I started reading excerpts of her novel on the Harper Collin's website, and an arbitrary scroll to page 16 revealed this:
I will be carrying only a single match, but that match will find its way to your body's middle, where even as you sleep you are thinking of me while I make my honey. It is as if that match were a bee that needs to suck your cock so much it could find it, hidden though it is, in the world's largest city. And, having lighted the way, the bee will fly away, the match extinguished, and I will begin, softly at first so that you can sleep a few more minutes, the long, slow, delicious process of licking your cock, and since I must have your honey milk even more than the bee, I will struggle to stay quiet though my pussy will be throbbing drumlike: I will eat you at first around the rim of your cock in undulating circular patterns. I take it in my mouth and give it a special kiss. Master, I whisper as you surrender to our ecstasy.
I have nothing to say about that other than, may we all be so connected with our sexualities at the age of 85.

Obsession may be one of the classiest books about BDSM ever published. Ms. Vanderbilt is, after all, an heiress. In this novel, you won't encounter any vinyl clad jezebels in lucite heels. According to the NYT, in lieu of the usual BDSM fare, the author presents us with "young ladies in Fortuny tea gowns, without underwear" who are blind-folded with "masks of dove and marabou feathers". These girls don't bother with the old Hitachi magic wand. Not when they have "gilt and lacquered sex toys" which are personally looked after of by an "an elegant madame who keeps up standards around the place". Having enough money to actually own a legitimate Fortuny gown? Her writing definitely is autobiographical, it seems.

Sex is also a healer

When a couple is first married, sex is usually frequent. There is very little discussion about lack of time, headaches and fatigue. It is a time of discovery and passion. Sex is not confined to the bedroom, but a possibility anywhere and anytime.
As the years go by, this has a tendency to change. Children are born. Responsibilities increase. There are more bills to pay and more money to be made. Fatigue definitely comes into play. The couple may be just as much in love with one another, but their life together has settled into a routine that is comfortable, but not necessarily exciting.Days or even weeks can go by without any physical intimacy. This can result in an emotional distance between the couple. The reason for this is because sex is more than just a physical release. Sex is a spiritual, emotional connection between a husband and a wife. It is the one time when a couple is truly bonded together in an intimate way, sharing an experience that nobody else can share with them. It is their time to connect and bond together.

Sex is also a healer. Amanda and her husband, Jeff had a tendency to get in arguments and say things to one another that they would later regret. Since both of them were stubborn, it was rare that either one would be the first to apologize. One day Jeff approached Amanda after an argument. Without saying a word, he took her hand and started leading her to the bedroom. Amanda’s initial reaction was to try and pull away, but when he looked into her eyes she saw something in them that reflected something more than anger. She saw love and desire.What followed was a particularly passionate, tender lovemaking session. Neither one of them ever spoke of their argument again. As a matter of fact, neither one of them could even remember what they had been arguing about in the first place. The simple act of lovemaking had healed their wounds

.Amanda and Jeff learned a very powerful secret. The more they felt like turning away from one another, the more they needed to turn toward one another and let that intimate coming together take place.The power of sex in a relationship should never be underestimated. It is often one of the first things to go in a marriage. Very few couples seem to realize the power it has. It colors everything else about a couple’s relationship.

The problem is common. You’ve been married for several years. Not only can you finish one another’s sentences, you can also predict the frequency

The problem is common. You’ve been married for several years. Not only can you finish one another’s sentences, you can also predict the frequency, the day and the specific moves of lovemaking with one another. When you think of making love with your spouse, you take a deep breath and think “Ho-hum”. Then you feel guilty for feeling that way. After all, this is the person who you are committed to love and cherish for the rest of your life.Try as you may, you cannot get enthused about another session of mechanical sex. Sometimes it is all you can do to endure another session of mechanical sex. You find yourself thinking of everything else while you are “making love”. You are balancing the budget in your mind, making a mental grocery list, thinking about your to-do list for the next day. As your thoughts run rampant, another thought is also present. And that thought is for the sex to soon be over with.This doesn’t sound like much of an endorsement for married sex, does it? That’s because it isn’t an endorsement. It is just the reality for far too many couples. However, there is good news. If you are in a sexual rut, it is because you have allowed yourself to be in a sexual rut. But the good thing about a rut is that you can actually get out of it if you try.Here are 5 specific ideas to add some spice to your sex life. Don’t be afraid to try them. It is important to go outside of your comfort zone and try something new.

1. Make a date for sex, but not just your normal routine sex. Make it special. Think about it all during the day. Wear something different, whether a new scent or some sexy lingerie. Work up to it slowly, with a nice romantic dinner. Do not talk about anything else at dinner. No talk of children, bills, work or school. Focus on your relationship. Focus on each other. Notice the things that drew you together in the first place.

2. Have sex in a different room. The bedroom is not the only room in the house. Use your imagination. There are other places to make love.

3. Try something new. Do not go for your usual step-by-step sex. Mix it up. Surprise one another. Try a new position. You may like it. You may not. You may end up in laughter. The point is, you have tried something new and gotten out of your rut.

4. Bring some kink into your sex life. Try some light bondage or a blindfold. Incorporate some toys into your lovemaking. Share your wildest fantasies with each other.

5. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! For some reason, couples who have been married a long time try and rush through sex like they are in a contest of some kind. Foreplay becomes a time consuming annoyance. Couples can get so focused on intercourse itself that they forget how wonderful foreplay can be. A wonderful sexual aphrodisiac is to go for a few weeks focusing solely on foreplay, having no intercourse at all. It is amazing how sexually connected a couple can be after doing this. Soon they are hot lovers once again just as they were in the beginning of their marriage.

Sex is a wonderful part of marriage, and should not be neglected. Falling in to a rut is no excuse for staying in that rut. Start making plans today so that you can spice up your sex life tomorrow.

Driscoll’s vulgar comments and explicit preaching style

Mark Driscoll, the highly controversial Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington did an interview for the acclaimed “Family Life” radio program in May. The segment was interrupted mid way through the interview by Dick Bott, founder of the Bott Radio Network. Bott, who has one of the largest Christian Radio networks in the country, not only interrupted the program but also cancelled an additional upcoming interview with Driscoll and informed all stations in the Bott Network to cancel any programming that involved Driscoll and his ministry.
Bott made the decision to pull all programming involving Driscoll after viewing and reading numerous accounts of Driscoll’s vulgar comments and explicit preaching style. Just a few years ago Driscoll preached at an event in Edinburgh, Scotland where he shared in a message that he had once counseled a female who was a new Christian on how to pull down her husband’s pants and perform oral sex on him. Driscoll has stated from the pulpit more than once that oral sex is the duty of a Godly wife; and in his Scotland message stated that he spoke about the oral sex with this woman because she is a “repentant woman” who is “supposed to be a biblical wife.”
Driscoll is a published author, founder of Acts 29 Ministries, Pastor and a self-proclaimed “5 ½ point Calvinist” or a “Charismatic Calvinist” and is a forerunner in paving the way for what is being called the “Reformed Calvinistic” point of view.
During Driscoll’s Scotland sermon, which was titled “Sex, a study of the good bits from Song of Solomon”, he stated: “Men, I am glad to report to you that oral sex is biblical…the wife performing oral sex on the husband is biblical. God’s men said ‘Amen’?”
Driscoll then referred to a scripture from Song of Solomon when addressing the women in the audience. “Ladies, your husband’s appreciate oral sex. It’s biblical. It’s right here. “The fruit of her husband is sweet to her taste and she delights to be beneath him.”
From the pulpit and in his own blog, Driscoll uses edgy humor and graphic language to get the attention of his audience. He has also addressed the topics of sex toys, anal sex and nymphomania, stating that chapter 7 of Song of Solomon gives biblical justification for spouses stripping for each other. Driscoll has reportedly referred congregants to what he states is an online ‘Christian Nymphos’ page run by Christian women and also an online source for sex toys.
The Bott Network stands behind their right and decision to pull Driscoll from their stations. Though Bott is in full support of the “Family Life” show and its host Dennis Rainey, Bott stated that he could not trust what might come out of Driscoll’s mouth on the radio. “All I know is when a man behaves badly; he’s not a role model. And when a man’s mouth, you know, speaks of things that will embarrass people in the audience he certainly isn’t a gentleman.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Though Driscoll has numerous supporters for his bold style and rogue sense of humor, many Pastors and Christian organizations around the globe are concerned over the skewed biblical interpretations that Pastor Mark Driscoll is embracing and sharing via his ministry. Much of the sexual doctrine Driscoll extols on the congregation comes merely from Song of Solomon and his own worldly viewpoint.
Driscoll displays his viewpoint via a video series of services titled “Ask Anything”. As you view the videos, Pastor Driscoll begins with a caution and a rating of MH-17, for mature audiences only. He goes on to state that the topics basically come in two different categories, “offensive and really offensive”. Driscoll states that the topics are what some would consider vulgar but ‘pretty fun.’ He justifies the videos with the remark, “To be fair, we are in the least churched city in the nation, the services tend to include a lot of non-Christians and new Christians.” – As if the purported freedom to be vulgar is alright since he is attempting to reach out to non-Christians and those who are new to the faith.
Despite the controversy surrounding Driscoll he was named one of the top 50 most influential Christians in America by Zondervan this past year. For those unaware, the word influential means ‘to influence’ and according to Miriam Webster is defined as: an emanation of spiritual or moral force; corrupt interference with authority for personal gain.

In Dubai, female sits at the front portion of the bus and males have to sit at the back portion of the bus.

In Dubai, female sits at the front portion of the bus and males have to sit at the back portion of the bus. If you are a couple, u have to be seperated throughout the bus journey. Unless you are married (and carries your marriage certificate with u), husband can stand beside wife while she sits. Male and female sitting together is a big NO NO... When the bus has no females at all, male can occupy the front portion of the bus. But, once theres a female on board, the males have to move your ass..

-In USA, after you have finished the mouth-watering fattening-ass meal, you ask for the bill. At the bottom of the bill, there will be a tipping guide where they will 'politely' ask for tips which 5% of your total bill is the most basic you 'should' give. Most common, 5%, 8% and 10%. I dont know what is the consequences of not tipping but its definitely a 'must do' culture in USA.

-In EGYPT.. unlike USA, they do not have tipping guide.. But they are more daring! Whatever service you hire that involves a local, at the end of the day, the local will not leave u alone unless you tip that person. If the local thinks that tip you gave is too low, that local will have no problem telling you that, he/she wants more.. So, if you want to sight see in Egypt, prepare to spend a fortune just to tip the locals.